Respect Phoneline — help for people worried about their own behaviour
The Respect Phoneline is the UK's confidential helpline for anyone concerned about their own violence or abuse towards a partner or ex-partner — and for relatives and frontline workers worried about someone's behaviour. In family proceedings, an order directing a parent to a behaviour-change programme starts here: the court cannot order change, but a parent who self-referred is a very different proposition.
REVIEWED BY: Sean McNamara on 2026-09-01
What Respect is
Respect is the UK's leading charity for work with perpetrators of domestic abuse. It accredits and quality-assures domestic abuse perpetrator programmes (the same standard used for DVPP — Domestic Violence Perpetrator Programmes — commissioned in family cases), runs the Respect Phoneline, and operates the Men's Advice Line for male victims. The Phoneline's focus is safety: reducing risk to partners and ex-partners by engaging the person causing harm.
What help it offers
- Respect Phoneline: 0808 802 4040 — free, confidential and anonymous; typically Monday to Friday, 9am–8pm (check current hours on the Respect Phoneline website).
- Email and webchat options for the same audience.
- Honest, non-judgemental advice about abuse — physical, coercive control, economic and emotional — and how to stop.
- Signposting to accredited behaviour-change programmes (including DVPPs meeting the Respect standard) where you live.
- Support for worried relatives and frontline workers who want to refer or advise someone.
- Information for (ex)partners of people using the Phoneline.
How a parent in family proceedings can use the Respect Phoneline
1. If findings or allegations exist against you. Whether findings were made at a fact-finding hearing or allegations are in play, self-referring to the Phoneline shows the court you took the concerns seriously. Judges and Cafcass know the Respect standard; documented engagement (or completion) of an accredited programme carries real weight in risk assessment. 2. If a DVPP is recommended. See our DVPP guides — the Phoneline explains what accredited programmes involve, waiting times and alternatives in your area. 3. If you are worried about your own behaviour. Many people call before any court case exists. That is the point: stopping harm early protects your children and your case. 4. For relatives. If you are worried about a family member's behaviour towards their partner, the Phoneline advises you too.
The Phoneline is anonymous and confidential; it is not a reporting service and does not share your details with the court. Its sister service, the Men's Advice Line (0808 801 0327), supports male victims of domestic abuse.
Contact details
- Respect Phoneline: 0808 802 4040
- Website: https://respectphoneline.co.uk
- Email: info@respectphoneline.org.uk
- Respect (the charity): https://respect.org.uk
- Men's Advice Line: 0808 801 0327 — https://mensadviceline.org.uk
Useful links
- Respect Phoneline: https://respectphoneline.co.uk
- DVPP and perpetrator programmes (Respect accreditation): https://respect.org.uk
- Men's Advice Line: https://mensadviceline.org.uk
- SPIP/DVPP court-ordered programmes: see our SPIP guide and DVPP guides on this site
This page is general information, not legal advice. Laws, procedures and contact details change — verify anything important against the official sources linked above before relying on it. Your Family Case is an independent directory listing; we take no referral fees and are not affiliated with, endorsed by, or receiving payment from any organisation listed.
Content verified against the official HMCTS court directory, gov.uk forms and fees pages, and the professional body registers (SRA, FMC, Bar Council). Last reviewed September 2026.