Breaking up without going to court — the complete DIY guide for separating couples

REVIEWED BY: Sean McNamara on 2026-08-29

Most separating couples never need a contested hearing

If you and your ex can agree on children and money — even imperfectly — you can resolve everything without a contested court hearing. This guide walks through the process.

Step 1: Agree the children

Create a parenting plan (see our parenting plans guide)
Cover: where the child lives, contact schedule, holidays, school, communication, handovers
If you can agree, you don't need a court order at all (see our no-order-principle guide)

Step 2: Agree the money

List all assets: house, savings, pensions, cars, debts
Consider what each of you needs: housing, income, pensions
If you both agree the split: make a consent order (see our consent order guide)
If you need help negotiating: use mediation (see our mediation guide) or collaborative law

Step 3: File the divorce

Apply online at https://www.gov.uk/divorce
Fee: £593 (or free with EX160 fee remission — see our fee waiver guide)
No-fault: no reasons needed
20-week reflection period before conditional order
6 weeks after conditional order before final order

Step 4: Formalise the agreement

File a consent order with a D81 financial statement
The court checks it's fair before approving it
Once sealed, it's binding — no future claims

When you DON'T need a solicitor

Simple estates: few assets, no property, no business
Both parties can communicate reasonably
No domestic abuse or safety concerns
You're comfortable completing forms yourself
You can use Support Through Court or Citizens Advice for form help

When you SHOULD get a solicitor

Complex finances (businesses, pensions, trusts, inheritance)
Domestic abuse (for safety and the legal aid gateway)
A disagreement about children that mediation can't resolve
Any case where the other side has a solicitor and you feel out of your depth
Non-disclosure concerns (you think they're hiding assets)

Official links

Divorce: https://www.gov.uk/divorce
Money and property: https://www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends
Children: https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce

This page is general information, not legal advice. YourFamilyCase.co.uk is an independent information directory and is not affiliated with HMCTS or gov.uk.

Content verified against the official HMCTS court directory, gov.uk forms and fees pages, and the professional body registers (SRA, FMC, Bar Council). Last reviewed September 2026.