Parenting plans & shared care — writing the agreement that survives

REVIEWED BY: Sean McNamara on 2026-08-28

The starting point

Most separated parents agree contact without a contested hearing. A parenting plan is the tool that turns "we'll work it out" into something durable — and a written plan is what courts, Cafcass and mediators want to see.

What a good parenting plan covers

1. Daily routine — school drops/pickups, homework, dinner, bedtime, which days 2. Shared care split — a calendar: one week with each? 50/50? alternate weekends + a midweek? Be precise and realistic 3. Holidays — half-terms, school holidays (alternate years? split?), Christmas and birthdays 4. Communication — how you contact each other (email/app, not through the child), response times, how to handle changes ("give 72 hours' notice") 5. Special days — birthdays, Mother's/Father's Day, religious events 6. The child's routine continuity — clubs, homework, friends, screen limits (keep both homes consistent) 7. Handovers — at school, neutral points, transport responsibility; safe handover place where relationships are strained 8. Decision domains — who decides schooling, health, religion; what requires joint consent 9. Review — a date to revisit and amend

Writing it

Be concrete ("every other weekend Fri 6pm–Sun 6pm"), not vague ("regular contact")
Child's welfare first in the wording — courts look for that framing
Sign it, date it, both keep copies (an informal but dated plan; stronger if made a consent order for financial security — see our consent order guide)
Keep it in a format messaging shows — email the final version to the other parent for the record

When to formalise into an order

If either parent won't commit orally, or agreements keep breaking — put it in a child arrangements order (C100) so it's enforceable (see our enforcement guide)
If money is involved too, a consent order bundles the D81
Cafcass and courts favour parents who have a prepared written plan — bring yours to the FHDRA

Shared care realism

50/50 works best when: parents live close, cooperate, child is settled, routines align
Courts don't assume 50/50 is best — they apply the welfare checklist (see our guide); a realistic, workable plan usually beats a rigid equal split that breaks down

Official links

https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce/if-arrangements-break-down
https://www.cafcass.gov.uk

This page is general information, not legal advice. YourFamilyCase.co.uk is an independent information directory and is not affiliated with Cafcass or gov.uk.

Content verified against the official HMCTS court directory, gov.uk forms and fees pages, and the professional body registers (SRA, FMC, Bar Council). Last reviewed September 2026.