The McKenzie friend — using one well

REVIEWED BY: Sean McNamara on 2026-08-29

What a McKenzie friend is

A McKenzie friend is an unpaid lay person who sits with you in court, takes notes, quietly helps you organise your papers, and offers you moral support — you remain the litigant in person. They are not a lawyer and do not represent you: every submission you make is yours, which is why the courts allow them at all. They are there to make you a better litigant, not to act for you.

What they can NEVER do

No advocacy — they may not address the judge, make submissions, present your case or speak on your behalf at the hearing itself
No cross-examination — only the parties (and their lawyers) ask questions of witnesses
No answering for you — if the judge asks you a question, you answer
No drafting or signing documents as if they were you
No fee — the moment they take money, they risk breaching legal-services rules and being excluded

What they CAN do at each stage

Before the hearing: help sort documents into a bundle, read your statement and court orders with you, brainstorm questions to ask, rehearse what you'll say, keep deadlines front of mind
During the hearing: sit beside you, hold your papers, pass you the right document at the right moment, take a note of what the judge says (so you can concentrate on listening), and quietly prompt you to slow down or stay calm
Between hearings: help you digest what happened, list the directions you must comply with, and prepare your next statement or evidence schedule

The courtroom role (what it looks like)

For any hearing where your McKenzie friend wants to attend, ask the court's permission in advance (in writing, to the judge's clerk or by emailing the court). Explain who they are and confirm you consent to them being present. Unless the court directs otherwise, they are likely to be allowed under the principle that a litigant may have a friend for assistance — but they cannot sit in during another party's evidence as a spectator, and they are subject to the same reporting-restrictions and "no contact with witnesses" directions as you.

They sit behind or beside you, stay silent, and only ever hand notes or documents to you. Their presence is permission to talk with you between stages, never a licence to talk to the court.

When a judge can exclude them

A judge can refuse or remove a McKenzie friend where:

They attempt to speak, advocate, or disrupt the proceedings
Their presence is unreasonable in number or identity (e.g. someone hostile, a party to the dispute, or a risk to another party or the children)
It would conflict with a safeguarding or reporting-restriction order
The court concludes their assistance is not needed (e.g. you already have representation)

The takeaway: a McKenzie friend who stays quiet, supports you, and never tries to fight your battle is almost never a problem. One who behaves like a second advocate is the fastest way to get excluded — and can even undermine your case.

How to prepare together

Pick someone reliable: calm, literate, available, and comfortable in a courtroom; ideally someone who has sat through a family hearing before
Agree the boundaries explicitly: "you never speak to the judge or the other side; you only help me." Put it in one line and repeat it
Do a practice run: take two chairs, draft your key points and questions, and have them role-play the other side and the judge. It exposes nerves before the real thing
Prepare the bundle together: agree an order of documents so they know what's coming and can hand you things without fumbling
Brief them on the case: the issues, your orders to date, and your deadline — without naming anything they'd have to hear in closed session
Decide the signals: a tap on the arm when you're rushing, a note passed when you've missed a point the judge made
Ask the court early for permission for them to attend, and tell them they may be asked to leave if the judge directs it

A good McKenzie friend multiplies the composure you bring to your own case — they never replace the work you have to do, which is exactly why the courts welcome them.