What to do when the other parent won't return the child

REVIEWED BY: Sean McNamara on 2026-08-29

The immediate steps

If the other parent has not returned your child after contact, or has taken them without agreement:

1. Stay calm — do not go to the other parent's home alone or engage in confrontation 2. Contact the police (999 if danger; 101 otherwise) — if you believe the child has been abducted or is at risk 3. Text the other parent — factual, non-threatening: "The order says [child] returns today at [time]. Please confirm when I can collect." 4. Document everything — screenshots of messages, times, what was said

If you have a child arrangements order

A "lives with" order means the child lives with you; the other parent's failure to return the child is a breach
Apply to the court for enforcement (see our enforcement guide) or a recovery order (which directs the police to find and return the child)
If the other parent has taken the child abroad, see our international/Hague guide

If you don't have an order yet

You can apply for a child arrangements order (C100) and, if the child is at risk, a prohibited steps order (preventing removal) at the same time
Urgent applications (without notice) are possible where there's a risk of removal or harm

The police

The police can act to recover a child where there's a risk of harm or abduction
They may say it's a "civil matter" — ask them to check for a prohibited steps order or explain the risk; if a child is on a child protection plan or there's a recovery order, they must act
Get a crime reference number for every report

After the child is returned

Document what happened
Apply to the court for enforcement of the existing order (see our enforcement guide) or for a variation if the current order needs strengthening
Consider a prohibited steps order to prevent future removal

If the child doesn't want to return

The court will still expect the order to be complied with, but will consider the child's wishes (welfare checklist factor 1) at the next hearing
Do not force a distressed child — bring the matter back to court and explain calmly

Official links

https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce
Recovery orders: https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1989/41/section/50

This page is general information, not legal advice. YourFamilyCase.co.uk is an independent information directory and is not affiliated with HMCTS or gov.uk.

Content verified against the official HMCTS court directory, gov.uk forms and fees pages, and the professional body registers (SRA, FMC, Bar Council). Last reviewed September 2026.