# Family Mediation and MIAMs: The First Step Before Court

*Last reviewed: 31 August 2026. Informational only — not legal advice.*

## What mediation is (and isn't)

Family mediation is a structured negotiation with an impartial, accredited **family mediator** who helps you and your ex reach your own agreements about children, money, or property. The mediator does not decide anything and does not give either of you legal advice. Agreements are written into a **Memorandum of Understanding**, which you take to your own solicitors to formalise (e.g. into a consent order).

Mediation is not counseling, and it is not appropriate where there is unmanaged coercive control or safety risk — mediators screen for this at the outset.

## What a MIAM is

A **Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting** is a solo meeting between you and a mediator (your ex attends separately). It explains mediation, screens for DV and suitability, and tells you your options. It usually lasts 45–60 minutes and costs roughly £80–£150 unless you qualify for legal aid (which can cover it free).

## The legal requirement

Since April 2014, anyone applying to the family court for a child arrangements, specific issue, or prohibited steps order — and for most financial remedy applications — must normally **attend a MIAM first**, or show an exemption. The court can refuse or adjourn an application where the requirement is ignored.

**Key point:** attending a MIAM is an information meeting, not a commitment to mediate. It satisfies the requirement whether or not mediation follows.

## Exemptions from the MIAM requirement

Common exemptions include:

- **Domestic abuse** — convictions, protective injunctions, police involvement, refuge/IDVA letters, health professional letters (see the [DV screening guide](dv-screening-cafcass.md))
- **Urgency** — risk of harm to the child, risk of child abduction
- The other party **refuses to attend** or cannot be contacted despite reasonable attempts
- You are already in mediation, or previous mediation broke down within the last 4 months
- Applications without notice, or where a child is party to proceedings
- Imprisonment or disability making attendance impracticable

You claim the exemption on **Part G of the C100**, with evidence attached.

## How to find and book a mediator

- Use the **Family Mediation Council (FMC) search** to find accredited mediators near you (choose "accredited" mediators — they can sign MIAM certificates and conduct legally aided work).
- Contact at least one, explain your situation, and ask about fees, waiting times, and whether they offer shuttle or online sessions.
- The mediator contacts your ex to invite them; if they engage, joint sessions (usually 2–4) follow.

## What mediation costs — and how it compares

- MIAM: ~£80–£150 per person
- Joint sessions: roughly £100–£190 per hour **shared between you**
- Legally aided if you're on qualifying benefits or low income — check first, as it makes the whole process free

Compare that with a contested child arrangements case: months of hearings, statements, and potentially thousands of pounds even when self-representing.

## Tips for getting value from mediation

- Prepare a short list of issues and your preferred outcomes before each session.
- Proposals should be concrete: days, times, holidays, handover locations.
- Bring a calendar and your child's routine (school, clubs, existing arrangements).
- Keep propositions child-focused; park unrelated grievances.
- Ask for interim agreements in writing even before the final Memorandum.

## If mediation fails

If agreement isn't reached, the mediator issues a **MIAM certificate (form FM1)** recording attendance or the other party's refusal — that unlocks your court application. Nothing said in mediation is admissible in court (without consent), so you can negotiate candidly.

## Related guides

- [Applying for a C100](applying-for-child-arrangements-order.md)
- [Responding to a C100](responding-to-child-arrangements-application.md)
- [Legal aid in family law](legal-aid-family-law.md)

*Sources: Children and Families Act 2014 s.10; FPR 2010 PD3A; Family Mediation Council standards. Fees and exemption rules change — verify with an FMC mediator before booking.*